Reading Fiction

Finally finished watching The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings (LOTR) trilogies, yesterday. Enjoyed the Hobbit trilogy more though. Many of the movies are more than 3 hours long.

If mere watching the movies felt like such a huge task, I am not sure how one would feel about reading the books. With myriad characters, places, and species, it's a whole new world created by Tolkien. However, is there any meaning in spending so much time reading about that fictional new world?

Knowing all that trivia does not serve any utilitarian purpose. I would rather stick to watching movies. I would not even suggest the books to children. Not even to encourage their reading habit. They don't have to know all those unnecessary intricate details, just to improve their reading. They should rather spend that time knowing more about the real world. Kids would do well reading fictional works that mimic the real world more; and not dwell so much on books that talk about such non-existent stuff like magic rings, orcs, wizardry, elves, hobbits etc.

I believe this is true about any fictional world. Be it LOTR, Harry Potter, Narnia or any piece of fictional writing for that matter. If the world created by the author is so awesome, just spend enough time to know about the world and then stop. I was in the middle of the fifth book of Harry Potter when I stopped reading the series. I felt I knew enough about the world created by J.K. Rowling. There was no meaning in laboring more in that fictional world.

I would rather spend that time to better my lot in the real world. Or perhaps learn from the experiences of a great person by reading an autobiography. Or read any non-fiction work that tells you more about how the world works and what you should do to better your lot. Perhaps that is the reason men read non-fiction more and find fiction less and less attractive as they grow old.

People become more utilitarian as they grow old and shift towards things that help them operate better in the real world. The same reason why people shift their allegiance from Communism to Capitalism as they start participating in the economy and operate more and more in the real world. But that is a topic for another day!

My Beef with Modi

 I first heard about Modi in the aftermath of the 2002 Gujarat riots. I learned about how Vajpayee wanted to sack Modi as CM and how Advani came to his rescue. My political leanings were towards left back then. I was convinced that Modi was complicit. I absolutely hated Modi for that crime against humanity. I admired Chandrababu Naidu for showing some spine and withdrawing support to the NDA government. I resented BJP for a long while after that.

In the years following, Gujarat came to be recognized for its business friendliness. I remember one particular comment of Ratan Tata – “You are stupid If you are not in Gujarat.” Modi came to be recognized for being incorruptible, accessible, and business friendly. I watched the 2007 interview of Modi by Karan Thapar in which he forcefully tried to make Modi express regret over the Gujarat riots. Modi walked out respectfully instead. I remember him saying, “Hang me if you find me guilty.” Slowly, my attitude towards Modi started changing. Maybe he did not orchestrate the riots. I felt that Congress was going great lengths to hound Modi and Shah.

And then came the 2014 elections. I began to see more and more posts on Social media about Modi and his Gujarat Model of development. The images of Ahmedabad reminded one of Singapore. Modi’s campaign generated great hope amidst the policy paralysis of UPA II in the wake of 2G scam, other corruption allegations, and Anti-Corruption Movement. Modi’s Hindu pride and assertiveness felt like a breath of fresh air as opposed to the minority appeasing Congress government. Having seen enough world and having understood how the world works, my economic leanings too shifted towards the right of the spectrum by then.

I celebrated the 2014 victory of BJP in the 2014 General Elections. I was ecstatic. Modi’s “Minimum Government, Maximum Governance” slogan generated a lot of hope. Finally, there is some politician who understood that Government needs to be reduced. I believed economic reforms will pick up pace. Modi will pick up from where Vajpayee left off, I thought. Little did I realize that my hopes were soon going to crash in a heap.

The red flags started appearing soon after the government was formed. The first one occurred when Smriti Irani was given the HRD ministry in spite of lacking any credible educational qualifications. Madhu Kishwar, who supported Modi throughout the election campaign, openly questioned about it. HRD ministry deals with handling the aspirations of the youth who is the future of the country. Doesn’t it warrant education and experience? It would be a great opportunity to someone who is hungry about reforming India. How can it be callously handed over to a washed-out television actress who is only known for her gift of the gab? Was it Modi’s way of thanking Smriti Irani for standing firmly in support of him, after some early opposition? How can a Prime Minister mortgage the future of the country just to reward loyalty?

As months and years pass, it becomes clear that Ministers don’t get to run their ministries. Modi works 18 hours a day and runs the ministries with the help of babus. One upshot of this arrangement is there is no scope for ministers to indulge in corruption.

(To be Continued)

Indian Boots on Foreign Ground

 In the last 20 years, the US requested Indian "boots on the ground" on two occasions.

1. George W. Bush's request for 20,000 Indian troops in Iraq was rejected by Vajpayee. In spite of pressures from multiple quarters, Vajpayee built public consensus and took the decision, keeping the wider interests of the nation in mind. Experts unanimously agree that it was a wise decision.
2. Trump administration wanted India to send her troops to Afghanistan. Defense Minister Nirmala Sitharaman rejected US Secretary of Defense James Mattis's demand.

Given the recent developments of US’s departure from Afghanistan and Taliban regaining control, the moot point is whether Nirmala Sitharaman’s decision was correct.

India is aware of the importance of a good relationship with Afghanistan. To counter Pakistan’s influence and to secure strategic interests, India invested heavily in the rebuilding of the war-torn country. President Trump was, however, dismissive of India’s efforts and made fun of India’s interest in “building libraries in Afghanistan.”

Some of India’s efforts included building the parliament complex (which included a library), water reservoirs, schools, power stations, and health clinics. Many of these projects are important but invisible and harder to trace and cost India a few billion dollars. However, this pales in comparison to the trillions that US spent on Afghanistan.

If we go by the official map, India shares a land border with Afghanistan. Taking back POK enables India to have a land route to Central Asia. However, that part of Kashmir that borders Afghanistan is under the control of Pakistan. India still hopes to take POK back and so resists any third-party intervention in adjudication of the Kashmir issue.

If taking back POK still remains an objective of India, a military role in Afghanistan would have certainly helped. Rather than building “libraries”, a military intervention, with boots on the ground in Afghanistan would have reduced the burden of USA. It would have improved the US-India relationship from the present transactional to a more strategic one.

Yes, it would not have been easy on India. There would have been body bags coming in. It’s not for nothing that Afghanistan is known as the graveyard of empires. However, India’s mountain warfare capability is considered among the best in the world. In the recent years, Indian army had withdrawn a proposal to raise a mountain corps to effectively counter threats in the Himalayan borders, keeping in view the costs involved. A military intervention in Afghanistan would have necessitated the mountain corps and India could have had the US pay the bill. With the US providing support with their advanced weaponry and surveillance capabilities and taking care of the monetary aspect, the coalition would have countered the Taliban in a far better manner and longer than what had transpired.

India would have had an opportunity to convince the US about Pakistan’s complicity in strengthening the Taliban. It was not that the US did not have an inkling that Pakistan was actually shielding Taliban. The US did not have any other option but depend on Pakistan. India’s involvement would have reduced the US’s dependence on Pakistan.

In return for troops on ground, India could have bargained for transfer of technology for advanced weapons and ammunition. And a security treaty that allowed for US intervention in case of a Chinese invasion. Such a treaty would have enabled India to focus her resources on economic development rather than on securing the borders.

 

Now, with the withdrawal of US and Taliban regaining control, India became irrelevant as far as Afghanistan is concerned. India did not figure in any of the discussions that Russia or the US had. Pakistan and China seem to have emerged as the winners. China is knocking India’s doors at the border and war seems to be imminent. India can’t expect the US to come to her aid readily given her inaction in the past. And without advanced weapons and technology, a full-blown Indo-China war is lopsided in favor of China.

 

However, Amit Shah’s statements on POK and Aksai Chin and Modi’s statements give some clues on India’s designs and thinking pattern. After Article 370 was revoked, Modi hinted about more action coming. He hinted that what had happened was nothing compared to the plans that he had for the rest of his term. If taking back POK is part of the plan, India would prefer to maintain her independence in military matters. Any dependence on any other country would have meant yielding to their reservations on the Kashmir issue. If India wanted a free hand in dealing with Kashmir and Pakistan, any external dependence would have been a hurdle.

 

Does this mean India is going to swoop down on POK in the next three years? Is China just testing Indian preparedness or does it have intentions of acting on the threats on Arunachal Pradesh and Ladakh? Can India withstand a two-front war?

 

India seems to be gearing up for a limited war with China and a frontal assault on Pakistan to take back POK. India seems to have waited until Pakistan has weakened economically. Modi had focused his first term and the initial years of his second term to isolate Pakistan internationally and weaken her economy. Pakistan is among the top ten nations with the largest foreign debts. Pakistan continues to be on the FATF grey list and has difficulty securing loans from international organizations. Saudi Arabia was successfully weaned off and Pakistan is now solely reliant on China.

 

Modi seems to be getting ready for swooping down on POK and settling the Kashmir issue, in the next two years. It remains to be seen whether he will be successful in warding off China. Interesting times ahead!

Minimum Government, Maximum Governance

“Minimum Government, Maximum Governance” was a promise made by Narendra Modi in his 2014 election campaign.  This raised the hopes of businessmen and pro-reform intelligentsia.  For most of us, the concept means limiting government interventionism and power of bureaucracy.  However, in his 2018 interview to Indian Express, Narendra Modi laid bare his utter ignorance of even the very meaning of the concept.  According to Modi, it’s all about clearing files in a short span.  He said files had to pass through 32 places in government previously, but now they reach him after just four to six stops in between.

When Narendra Modi has this kind of understanding of the very concept, it is no wonder that his government has disappointed most who were expecting an expedient implementation of the big bang reforms.  It is understood that first terms are prone to political compulsions.  You need to play to the gallery and undertake populist measures if you hope to be reelected.  However, two years into the second term, with such a political mandate, Modi government has not shown enough reformist intent.

Instead of a minimized government, what we have witnessed is government entering into all aspects of lives of Indians.  Government is telling its people what to eat (all the nonsense around beef eating), how to watch movies (only after a forced recitation of the national anthem), what to watch (browbeating of filmmakers to not employ Pakistani actors), and so on.  The Covid pandemic brought the brutal worst out of the police state.  Police were seen mercilessly beating the crap out of civilians who were out for an errand or to earn their daily bread. Institutions like the Supreme Court, CBI, Income Tax Department are used to rein in political opponents.  In the meanwhile, Air India was not sold in time and continues to bleed tax payer money, public sector banks just get merged and their privatization is no where in sight, government continues to create obstacles to foreign players operating in e-commerce (Flipkart and Amazon can’t give discounts), state governments continue to control surge pricing of ridesharing operators like Ola and Uber.  The list of government interventionism runs ad nauseam.

Narendra Modi has spent most of his time and attention on tackling the Chinese threat.  If he only bothered to get some expert advice and spent the same effort and time on improving the Indian economy, China would have given us a lot more respect than what we are getting now.  A stronger economy is a bigger and better deterrence!

I found this website recently.  It maintains a scorecard of thirty big reforms and the status of each.  I was saddened to see that only four were completed out of the thirty.  While four other reforms are incomplete, 22 were not even started upon!  Take a look at this scorecard.

https://indiareforms.csis.org/

లేకి మాటల, వంకర చేష్టల బాబు గోగినేని

సాధారణంగా శాస్త్రీయత, హేతుబద్ధత పట్ల సాధారణ ప్రజల నుండి ఉన్నత విద్యావంతుల వరకూ దాదాపుగా అందరికీ సానుకూల ద్రుక్పధమే ఉంటుంది. కానీ బాబు గోగినేని అనగానే అందరిలో ఒక జుగుప్స ఎందుకు కలగడం మొదలయింది?

మొదట్లో, టీవీ ఛానళ్ళలో అతని వాక్పఠిమని చూసి ప్రజల్లో కొంత ఉత్సుకత ఉండేది. కానీ తర్వాత్తర్వాత, బిగ్బాస్ మొదలు, జనాల మదిలో అతని ఇమేజ్ పతనం కాసాగింది. దీనికి ఈ కింది విషయాలు కారణాలుగా చెప్పవచ్చు. 1. డబ్బుల కోసం, మరింత గుర్తింపు కోసం ఆశపడి పాల్గొన్నా, ఏదో హేతువాదాన్ని ఉద్ధరించడానికన్నట్టు అతను చేసిన కవరింగ్ 2. బిగ్బాస్ లొ అతను వేసిన చవకబారు వేషాలు, ఓటమిని జీర్ణించుకోలేనటువంటి అతని పరిణితి లేని తత్వం 3. డిబేట్లు ఏర్పాటు చేయించుకోని మరీ తానే అసలు విజేతనని నిరూపించుకోవడానికి అతను పడిన పాట్లు 4. రాజమౌళి, ఆర్జీవీ, పవన్ కళ్యాణ్, తనికెళ్ళ భరణి, జగపతి బాబు తదితరుల పట్ల అతని అవసరం లేని వివాదాస్పత వ్యాఖ్యలు 5. సామాజిక మాధ్యమాలలో అతనూ, అతని పెంపుడు కుక్కలూ వేసే చిల్లర వేషాలూ 6. తన ప్రత్యర్దులు ప్రాణాంతకమైన ఆరోగ్య సమస్యలు ఎదుర్కొన్నప్పుడు కూడా ఇసుమంతయినా ఇంగితం, పరిణితి, మానవత్వం లేకుండా అతను చేసిన సిగ్గుమాలిన వ్యాఖ్యలు 7. ఫేస్బుక్ మాటున అతని బూతు పురాణాలూ, కామెంట్లు లాక్ చేసి, మాటిమాటికీ మార్చి అతనూ, అతని పెంపుడు కుక్కలూ వేసే వేషాలు, పిరికిపంద చర్యలూ 8. ఫేస్బుక్ లొ ఎదో మూల ఎవరో తనకు రుచించని కామెంట్లు చేశారని, వారిని ఎగతాళి చేస్తూ, బూతులు తిడుతూ, వారి ఫొటొలు పోస్ట్ చేసి, అతనూ అతని పెంపుడు కుక్కలు పొందే శునకానందం 9. తన చిల్లర, పిరికిపంద వేషాలను వేలెత్తి చూపే వారిపై అక్రమ కేసులు బనాయిస్తానని అతను చేసే బెదిరింపులూ 10. ఎప్పుడో తనతో డిబేట్లొ ఓడిన వారిపై, బిగ్బాస్ హవుస్మేట్స్ పై మాటిమాటికీ అసభ్యకర కామెంట్లు చెయ్యడం, పోస్టులు/ఫోటోలు పెట్టడం 11. వ్యక్తిగత ధూషణలకు దిగి, అదేదొ దేశాన్ని ఉద్దరించామన్నట్టు అతనూ, అతని కుక్కల మందా చేసే దిగజారుడు పనులూ

ఇతను వేసే వేషాలు ప్రజలకు ఇంత జుగుప్స కలిగించినా కొన్ని టీవీ చానళ్ళు ఈ దగుల్భాజీకి ఇంకా కవరేజి ఇస్తుండడం, అతనితో ఇంకా ఇంటర్వూలూ, డిబేట్లూ ఏర్పాటు చెయ్యటం విడ్డూరం.

ఇతని ఆలొచనా విధానం ఎంత విచిత్రంగా వుందో ఈ మధ్య జరిగిన ఒక విషయంలో మనకు అర్ధం అవుతుంది. ఆనందయ్య మందు ప్రాచుర్యంలోకి వచ్చిన తర్వాత నటుడు జగపతి బాబు ఆయుర్వేదం అంటే తనకూ మంచి అభిప్రాయం ఉందనీ, దాని వల్ల మంచి ఫలితాలు ఉంటాయని వ్యాఖ్యలు చేసాడు. అది జరిగిన కొన్ని రోజులకి తనకి ఆయుర్వేద ఆహార/ఔషధ వ్యాపారంలో ఆసక్తి ఉందనే ఉద్దేశం వ్యక్తపరిచినట్టు భోగట్టా. దీనిపై బాబు గోగినేని అసభ్యకరమైన వ్యాఖ్యలూ, పోస్టులూ చేసాడు. కానీ, ఒక అంశంపై నమ్మకం/ఆసక్తీ ఉంటేనే కదా ఎవరైనా ఆ వ్యాపారంలొ దిగేది! ఈ చిన్న లాజిక్ మిస్స్ అయ్యాడు మన లేకి మాటల/వంకర చేష్టల గోగినేని! ఆయుర్వేదం కి మద్దతుగా జగపతి బాబు వ్యాఖ్యలు చెయ్యడంలో తప్పేం ఉంది? చేసినంత మాత్రాన ఏ మాటంటే ఆ మాట అనవచ్చా?

హేతువాదం, మానవవాదం ముసుగులో అతను ఎంత జాగ్రత్తపడ్డా, అతని స్వంత అజెండా జాగ్రత్తగా గమనించే వారికి తేటతెల్లమే! 1. అప్పుడప్పుడూ నర్మగర్భంగా కాంగ్రెస్స్ కి, రాహుల్ గాంధీకి అనుకూలంగా అతను వదిలే వ్యాఖ్యలూ 2. LGBT హక్కుల మాటున, హేతువాదం ముసుగులో హిందూయిజం పై అతను చేసే దాడులూ 3. ఆస్త్రేలియా లొ ఉంటూ, ఫేస్బుక్ మాటున భారత దేశం పై, మన ఆచార వ్యవహారాల పై అతను చేసే దాడులూ 4. కేసులకి, ప్రజల ఆగ్రహానికీ భయపడి పారిపోయిన తీరూ 5. బయట పెట్టని ఆదాయ వనరుల విషయాల లోగుట్టూ 6. ప్రజల కళ్ళలో పడి, ఒక ఒపీనియన్ మేకర్ గా ఎదిగి తన స్వంత ఎజెండా అమలు చేద్దామని అతను చేసే విఫల ప్రయత్నాలూ 7. మన సంస్క్రుతినీ, ఆచార వ్యవహారాలనూ హేళన చేసి, చులకన చేసి, మన ఆత్మాభిమానం పై దొంగ దెబ్బ తీయడానికి అతను వేసే ఎత్తులూ

8. శాఖాహారులని ఎగతాళి చెయ్యడం, మాంసాహారాన్ని ప్రోత్సహించడం

ఎప్పుడూ హిందూయిజాన్ని, అప్పుడప్పుడూ జీసస్ నీ, అల్లా నీ ఎగతాళి చేస్తే సెక్యురలిస్టులు అవ్వరు! మనోభావాలు గాయపడిన వాళ్ళు ఎక్కువవుతారు అంతే . ఎవరి విశ్వాసాలు/నమ్మకాలు వారికి అపురూపం. కొన్నిటిని అలా వదిలెయ్యాలంతే.

కత్తి పట్టుకు వస్తా! నేను పట్టించుకుంటే జీవితాంతం గుర్తుంచుకుంటారు! ఇవీ, ఈ దగుల్బాజీ లేటెస్ట్ ప్రగల్భాలు! ఇంత వయలెన్స్ ఏంటి మాటల్లో? ఫేస్బుక్ మాటున కామెంట్లు చేసి/పోస్టులు పెట్టి దేశాన్ని ఉద్ధరిద్ధామనే? ఏంటీ పిచ్చి? ఎంత కాలం ఈ వెర్రి వేషాలు భరించడం?

ఇలా ఎవరిని పడితే వారిని, ఏ మాటంటే ఆ మాట అనే హక్కు బాబు గోగొనేనికి ఎవరిచ్చారు? ఫేస్బుక్ మాటున ఈ దగుల్బాజి చేసే వికౄతమైన పనులనూ/వ్యాఖ్యలనూ పట్టించుకోకుండా అతనితో డిబేట్లూ, ఇంటర్వూలూ చేస్తున్న టీవీ చానళ్ళను ఏం అనాలి?

అల్లోపతి తప్ప ఇంక ఏ విధానాల గురించీ ఇంక ఎవరూ మాట్లాడ కూడదా? మాట్లాడితే వాక్సిన్ హెసిటెన్సీని ప్రొత్సహిస్తున్నట్టూ, యాంటీ వాక్సరూనా? చదువుకున్న యువకులు కూడా ఈ దగుల్బాజీ చుట్టూ చేరి పెంపుడు కుక్కలలా ప్రవర్తిస్తూ, మాబ్ మెంటాలిటీ లో పడి కొట్టుకుపోతూ ఏదో దేశాన్ని ఉద్దరిస్తున్నామని భ్రమ పడడం విషాదకరం.

-- written by Amarendra Reddy Sagila

The Unravelling of Babu Gogineni

I have been following Babu Gogineni’s Facebook profile for the past couple of years or so.  He has been trying to position himself as a reformer, opinion-maker, human rights activist, conscience-keeper, and a crusader against irrational religious customs and practices.  However, in spite of all his efforts to project himself as the reformer that the Telugu-speaking states have long been waiting for, he comes across as a very petty-minded, egotistic, and vulgar person.  This in spite of his erudition, wide exposure, and impressive writing and debating abilities!

 

One can’t argue the fact that he was impressive in his televised debates.  He is evidently very well read. On live television, he effortlessly exposed a few individuals who were exploiting the fears and beliefs of gullible people.  So far so good!  He was then invited to the Big Boss show.  It was then that his carefully crafted public image began to unravel.

 

Quite evidently, he could not handle not being chosen the winner of the show.  He went into the show claiming that he was entering it as he felt it was an interesting experiment in the study of human behavior.  I did not watch any part of the show, but based on his outbursts against the winner and other members of the house, it was quite clear that he deemed himself far superior.  His indignation extended to the makers and the host of the show.  How could they not choose him who is the most knowledgeable, intelligent, and evolved being in the 1000-mile radius, leave alone the Big Boss house!

 

Yes, it is true that Kaushal, the winner, does not possess the intellectual abilities that Babu Gogineni does.  But who said the Big Boss show is the most accurate judge of human virtues?  Why did Babu invest so much emotion and pride in a show (like many Telugu movies and shows) that panders to the lowest common denominator?  It seems he thought it would be an easy win and would launch him into the coveted space of public acceptance and celebrity.

 

He refused to accept the verdict and started slandering and targeting the winner and challenged him to a debate.  His schadenfreude is quite evident whenever something bad comes into light about any of the contestants that he did not like in the house.  Months and years after conclusion of the show, he continues to indulge in vulgar insults and slander on social media platforms.  All this reveals a sick, petty, and vulgar person in the garb of a righteous crusader.

 

True reformers focus their energies not on individual perpetrators but the all-pervading systemic evil itself.  Gandhi did not fight individual British bureaucrats, policemen, or military men.  Jaya Prakash Narayan, founder of Lok Satta Party, was instrumental in bringing about many legislative reforms that curb political corruption.  However, he did not get into street fights against any corrupt MLA or MP.  No mature politician or reformer fights individuals and wastes his/her precious energies.  They look at the larger picture and focus their efforts in bringing about systemic and societal reforms.  However, taking Babu Gogineni’s name in the same breath as Jayaprakash Narayan or Gandhi would be an insult to the latter two.

 

Babu talks about Art of War and strategizing.  He extends his righteous indignation to popular people like RGV, Raja Mouli, and Tanikella Bharani.  While his thoughts on RGV and Aryn Rand appear well-intentioned, reasonable, and accurate, his efforts to pick up cudgels against popular figures betray his sinister designs.  By punching above his weight, he is trying to place himself on the same popularity pedestal that the celebrities occupy.  It is another matter that the celebrities refuse to stoop down to his level and muddy themselves by fighting the pig in its sty.

 

His constant gloating of his insignificant victories over inconsequential people and constant self-glorification on social media platforms have belittled him so much that media has stopped giving him the coverage or importance that they once gave him.  People now deem him as one more nuisance to bear in the realm of public discourse.

 

He and his cronies indulge in frequent and vulgar celebration of his victories.  He frequently shares memes of his opponents that glorify him and insult the individuals.  All this simply betrays his refusal to take defeat, refusal to move on, egotism, and pettiness.  He picks up petty fights against random people on social media platforms.  The language he uses to express his righteous indignation and belittle his numerous opponents is vulgar to say the least.

 

His hypocrisy is laid bare when he condemns Sadguru Jaggi Vasudev as a Tantric practitioner.  He does not believe in unscientific customs and practices but is ready to use the notoriety of Tantra to slander someone.  He is a human rights activist and proponent of free speech until some non-descript person argues with him on social media.  He is a humanist but threatens to approach his opponents’ employers and get them fired for petty issues.

How would any sensible person respond when someone becomes ill?  Even if it's an opponent, one would express their concern and wish them a speedy recovery.  But it seems humanists respond in a very different way.  When it came into light that Pavan Kalyan contracted covid-19, Babu Gogineni started mocking Pavan Kalyan over a cartoon shared by a non-descript fan of his!  I am not a fan of Pavan Kalyan's political career, but there is a way to respond when it comes to public discourse.  No one with the slightest empathy or common sense would mock someone fighting a potentially life-threatening illness.  And Babu calls himself a humanist!

 

All this behavior of Babu Gogineni betrays an immature, sick, petty, and publicity-hungry individual.  The electronic media has already recognized this.  All that the general public have to do to get rid of this menace is realize the pettiness and ignore this idiot’s shenanigans.

 

సో, చెప్పొచ్చేదేమిటంటే, ఈ దగుల్బాజీకి మానవవాదం, హేతువాదం అనేవి తన మనోవికారాలను కప్పి పుచ్చే ఉత్త ముసుగులు మాత్రమే!

గప్పాల్ గొడ్దడు గాడ్ధె కొడుకు!  యాక్ థూ!!

 

Written by

Amarendra Reddy Sagila

Government to be run by National Moodometer (NaMo)

Satire

Having seen the chest-thumping reaction of the nation to surgical strikes, it is reliably learnt that the BJP government has decided to let national mood dictate all actions of the government.  As a result, a device, called National Moodometer (NaMo), is soon going to take control of the reins of the government.  The device gauzes the mood of the nation and recommends an appropriate action that would score the most brownie points from the majority of voters.

Unbeknownst to all Indians, NaMo (not to be confused with Narendra Modi) has been running the government for quite some time.  Contrary to popular opinion, it was not Modi or Manohar Parrikar who was the brains behind the strikes.  The action was recommended by NaMo.  It was the moodometer’s suggestion to tacitly allow the browbeating of filmmakers who made films with Pakistani actors.

The device takes advantage of Big Data and other latest technologies to tap into the public mood.  State of the art analytics software will then pore through the gazillion bytes of data, mostly from social media.  Not even the silliest comment, on the remotest website, by a Bhakt, AAPtard or sickular can escape the attention of NaMo.  Though the device was being tested for some time by the BJP government, it is the surgical strike recommendation and the subsequent favorable reaction all over the country that convinced the party fully about its worth.

The Prime Minister and senior party leaders are so confident now that they have decided to leave all the decision-making to the device.  The device has an auto-pilot mode, which when activated, will take control of the Executive.  To put it simply, NaMo will rule the country.  The Prime Minister’s Office (PMO) initially wanted the device to ease the burden on the PM and rid him the daily nuisance of taking silly domestic policy decisions.  The PMO and the PM wanted to concentrate all their energies on Modi’s foreign visits.

“Desperate circumstances warrant desperate measures.  The spectre of China is looming large over India and we have to act.  Modi has to travel to as many countries as possible and become BFFs with as many heads of state as possible.  India has to get into NSG first and then the UN Security Council.  The PM can’t be burdened with silly domestic issues!” responded one PMO official on strict condition of anonymity.

However, senior BJP functionaries seem to have gotten greedy.  Having seen what NaMo can do, they want to exploit it to win the 2019 General Elections.  “Not even the minutest action of the party or the PM goes unnoticed.  Sickular media is always waiting to jump on us.  An innocuous suit cost us the Delhi elections!!  What more can I say?  It feels like walking on eggshells.  We became very afraid of taking any decision or making any statement.  We don't want to repeat 2004 when we lost after the Shining India campaign. We want to get rid of the scope for human error this time.  That’s where NaMo will help us.  The party needs NaMo badly if it wants to win the 2019 elections!” said a senior party functionary.

For many, it came as a revelation that even the BJP government could not escape the fear of taking decisions.  If not for NaMo, it would have gone the same way as UPA 2 which was marred by policy paralysis.  However, BJP seems to be convinced that a machine has better judgement than anyone in the party.  Political parties across nations and centuries always tried to pander to popular opinion.  However, the moodometer simplifies it and seems to be more accurate and effective.

“NaMo is the zenith of democracy.  It took hundreds of years for modern democracy and parliamentary system to evolve, from the days of Magna Carta.  NaMo heralds the beginning of a truly democratic era.  NaMo takes decisions according to popular opinion on social media, which makes India democratic in the truest sense.  Now, Indians can celebrate Diwali every day.” said a senior BJP leader.

However, skeptics wonder whether nonsense from jobless and crazy pseudo-intellectuals on social media can be cumulatively considered as public opinion.  Even if it indeed is, does the government have to pander to it?  “This is crazy.  The country will go to dogs.  We will prove Churchill right” said a critic.

JuD Chief to Literally Lay Eggs for Pakistan

My Satirical Article, Published on Faking News.

http://my.fakingnews.firstpost.com/world/jud-chief-literally-lay-eggs-pakistan-30155

Hafiz Saeed, the chief of Jamaat-ud-Dawa (JuD), has announced that he and his followers will literally lay eggs for Pakistan.  He said that this decision was not borne out of frustration or fear, but out of love and gratitude towards his country.

It is well known that a Pakistani lawmaker had called for action against terror groups in Pakistan.  Amidst a growing chorus, the lawmaker questioned the Pakistani government’s failure to act against Saeed.  There is an increasing concern in Pakistan that harboring non-state actors like Saeed and Masood Azhar is only pushing the country towards diplomatic isolation.

Hafeez already is a UN-designated terrorist and has a $ 10 million US bounty on his head.  The growing demand to disown him has reportedly put a lot of pressure on him.  He reportedly meditated a lot on the lawmaker’s statement about “not laying any egg for Pakistan”.  After a lot of deliberation with his aides, he came up with this plan of literally laying eggs for Pakistan.  He is very hopeful that Pakistani government and civil society will find his egg-laying plan very useful.

He is supposed to have told his followers that until now he capitalized on the animosity and hatred of Pakistanis towards India.  In their hatred, the Pakistanis overlooked the damage religious extremism has been inflicting on their own country.  However, in the wake of the surgical strike by India and the subsequent cancellation of the SAARC summit and further diplomatic isolation, the Pakistani civil society seemed to be slowly coming to its senses.

Very reliable sources informed Faking News, on the condition of anonymity, that Saeed became very worried and restless after the backlash from the press, political parties and the government.  He was not sure how long the military will be able to protect him.  He discussed with his aides about all the possibilities and probabilities of him laying eggs.  He had set up a committee, comprising of experts in medicine, and entrusted them with the responsibility of finding a solution to his predicament.

Saeed is supposed to have expressed his willingness to undergo any kind of treatment or surgery to be able to lay eggs for the Pakistani people who had given him so much love and support so far.  And to his delight, his team has come up with a solution to the crisis.  He is reliably learnt to have undergone many painful surgeries and hormonal treatments to be able to lay eggs.

He has announced that he will demonstrate his newfound ability, of laying eggs, outside his fortified home in Lahore.  Along with the national and global press, he has also invited the PML-N lawmaker who had mocked his then inability so publicly.  He is confident that his eggs will put to rest, for ever, all the unnecessary talk about his being of no value to Pakistan.

However, critics argue that nothing worthwhile will come out of Saeed’s eggs.  They say that even if something does come out, it might turn out to be very dangerous and will further push Pakistan to the brink.

Meanwhile, there is heavy speculation going on in Pakistan and Dubai about the outcome of Saeed’s eggs, after the customary incubation of 40 days.  Heavy betting is going on in the notorious streets of Karachi and illegal betting sites online.  However, odds are heavily in favour of an armed-to-the-teeth terrorist. Highly-enriched uranium is a close second.

Udaipur, the City of Lakes

My travelogue on Udaipur city, published in the web edition of Hans India. Here is the link:

http://www.thehansindia.com/posts/index/Travel/2016-03-02/Udaipur-What-to-do-where-to-go/210872

The word Rajasthan conjures up a montage of images in my mind. I associate the state with royal families, forts, the Thar desert, camels, colorful pagdis, enterprising businessmen, and a history that was replete with instances of valor as well as suffering of Rajput warriors and their womenfolk.

As a tourist destination, Rajasthan is more popular with foreigners than it is with Indians. We, Indians, are more after temples and hill stations. The colorful folk, royal palaces, forts, camels and the desert together might be luring the foreigners, with the promise of quenching their thirst for the exotic. It seems, the cities Jaipur, Jaisalmer, Jodhpur, Udaipur, and Pushkar are popular among foreign tourists. On their radar, these tourist hotspots of Rajasthan are as important as Agra, Delhi, Varanasi, Goa, Hampi, Khajuraho and Ajanta. The Indian experience is not complete without the customary trip through the land of Maharajas!

This interest in Rajasthan is not lost on the tourism and hospitality industries. Rajasthan boasts of some of the best hotels in India.  For the rich, Rajasthan is a traveler’s delight in terms of luxury and style. The itinerary of the Maharaja Express, the luxury train operated by IRCTC and patronized mainly by foreign tourists, is mainly centered on Rajasthan. However, many backpackers flock in too, travelling sleeper class in trains and staying in cheap hotels and hostels.

I had long wanted to travel through Rajasthan. I found that the nearest place of significance from Mumbai is Udaipur.  It is 16 hours away by train, which just means a night journey and then some more. I finally take up the gauntlet and on a fine late January morning, land in the city of lakes and palaces.

With the image of the desert in my mind, I was expecting the weather to be hot and so did not bring any winter gear.  To my surprise, the days were cool and the nights were cooler!  It was not that the Sun does not shine bright. It does, but still, when you are in shade, it is cold. The day temperature hovered between 17 and 230 C while the nights saw 11-140 C temperature. I observed that people, who were required to be out in the open because of their professions, lighted fires to fight the night chill. However, I was told that summers are unbearably hot.  The best time to visit Udaipur is between September and March.

Desert is nowhere near Udaipur. For that, you better go visit Jaisalmer or Bikaner. The outskirts of Udaipur have a rustic feel, with crops grown and cattle reared. It feels like any other tier-two Indian city, except for the distinct paintings on walls of most houses.

The heritage of kings and warriors dominates the cultural landscape of the city. Popular local handicrafts such as paintings, marble art, silver art, and terracotta are dominated by the motif of the royals and their lifestyle. On the walls of every house, one can see the paintings of horse and elephant mounted men, ushering visitors. This is not surprising, as Udaipur city was the seat of the kingdom of Mewar. Until the princely state of Udaipur joined the Indian Union in 1949, it had been ruled by the Chattari Rajputs of Mori Guhilot Parihar and Sisodia dynasties for over 1,400 years.

One can clearly see that even after nearly 450 years of his heroic resistance, Maharana Pratap remains the city’s favorite son. The Sisodia warrior king refused to bow down to the imperial might of the Mughal empire that was at its peak with none other than Akbar at the helm. I feel Pratap is to the Mewar region what Shivaji is to Maharashtra, a symbol of resistance to Mughal might and upholder of the local religion and culture. The places, events, and people related to the life and struggle of the brave warrior king are revered and remembered. The majestic and beautiful Maharana Pratap Smarak is a loving and respectful tribute to his memory. One can see that the royal heritage has an unmistakable imprint on the spirit of the city and Pratap, along with his loyal horse Chetak, occupies a special corner in the hearts of the people!

Lakes together with the backdrop of the Aravali hills dominate the landscape of the city. Lake Pichola, Fateh Sagar Lake, Udai Sagar Lake, Rajsamand Lake and Jaisamand Lake are the five prominent lakes of the Mewar region. While the first two lie inside the city, the later three are spread across a radius of 66 km from the city. All of these lakes are artificial lakes, developed over the last few centuries by the rulers of the times to serve the water needs of the people.  Of these, Lake Pichola is the most picturesque and lies at the heart of the city. Because of its beautiful lakes, the city is called Venice of the east and acclaimed as romantic.

City Palace, lying on the banks of Lake Pichola, is the most visited tourist attraction in the city. The downtown area of the city developed around the various entrances of the palace complex. Most of the tourist attractions like within a radius of 4 km from the City Palace. Hathi Pol, Bada Bazaar, Chetak Circle, and Palace Road are some of the popular shopping arcades.

Udaipur cuisine is mainly vegetarian because of the influence of Vaishnavism and Jainism. Udaipur is famous for its Dal-Baati-Churma, Gatte-Ki-Sabzi, Kachori and Mirchi Bada. Many restaurants serve unlimited Rajasthani thali. Rajasthani cuisine is spicy as opposed to the neighboring Gujarat where everything is supposed to be sweet.  Natraj is perhaps the most famous thali restaurant and rightly so. Your trip is not complete until you have tasted Dal-baati-churma and the thali!

List below are the important tourist attractions in and around Udaipur:  

•    City Palace and Lake Pichola

•    Monsoon palace and Sajjangarh sanctuary 

•    Maharana Pratap Smarak

•    Bagore ki Haveli and the Dharohar show

•    Fateh Sagar lake

•    Jagadish ji temple

•    Sukhadia circle

•    Chetak circle

Get out:

•    Srinathji temple – 48 km

•    Eklingji temple and Sas-Bahu temple – 22 km

•    Kumbhalgarh fort – 100 km

•    Chittorgarh fort – 130 km

•    Ranakpur – 88 km

•    Mount Abu – 158 km

Some more..

•    Monsoon Palace is situated atop a hill inside Sajjangarh sanctuary.  The views, of the Aravali range and the lakes, from the palace balconies are simply breathtaking.

•    The darshan timings of Srinath ji at Nathdwara change every day and updated on the temple website.

•    Sas-bahu is not dedicated to the sas-bahu relationship! It is a corrupted form of Sahasra Bahu.  Strangely, you won’t find any idol in this temple now. Though known for its intricate carvings, it is not a place of worship now, but maintained well by ASI for preservation purposes.

•    Ranakpur jain temple is known for its magnificent architecture.

•    Sukhadia circle is famous for its street food served by a never-ending line of stalls.  

A Visit to Daman

My travelogue of Daman, one of the districts that make up the Union Territory, Daman & Diu.  It was published in the web edition of Hans India.  The link is here:


http://www.thehansindia.com/posts/index/2015-12-28/A-Visit-to-Daman-196013

We all know about Daman and Diu mainly because of our school books.  We knew it as one of the union territories (UT) of India and remembered that piece of information to cough up in exams and quiz competitions.  Very few of us know much else about the Union Territory (UT). 

Daman is one of the two districts that make up the union territory, Daman and Diu.  Though they together make up the UT, Diu lies 635 km apart, up the Gujarat coast line.

Vapi, which is just 7 km from Daman, is well-connected by rail and makes travel to Daman easy.  Vapi is 150 km away from Mumbai and 122 km from Surat, thus serving as a getaway for people of both the cities.

Since the union territories are under the purview of the central government, alcohol costs significantly less.  In addition, Daman is surrounded by Gujarat where alcohol is prohibited.  To top it all, there are no restrictions on consuming alcohol here.  One can sit on the beach and drink liquor anytime, without the fear of police.  All this makes Daman a haven for the parched throats of the nearby areas.

To cater to the demand of the floating population, liquor shops mushroomed across the nook and corner of Daman.  Apart from liquor, Daman is famous for its beaches, forts, Portuguese colonial architecture and churches.

Daman lies at the mouth of the Daman Ganga river.  It comprises of the twin towns of Nani-Daman and Moti-Daman, which lie opposite each other across the Daman Ganga river.  Ironically, Nani-Daman is the bigger of the two towns.

There are mainly two beaches here, Devka and Jampore.  Devka, in Nani-Daman, is a rocky beach during low tide.  Alcohol and snacks are sold in the beach-side shacks.  Sea withdraws 2-3 km inside after noon and people sit on the rocks across the stretch and consume liquor and spend time with friends and family.  Jampore beach is in Moti-Daman and has black sand.  In addition to the shanties selling liquor and offering shade, it has options like parasailing, horse, camel, and quad bike rides.

One can see a number of vehicles parked and most of them are from Surat. Surat too boasts of a beach but it is dirty and muddy.  One can see that the disappointing Surat beach, liquor prohibition and the allure of cheap liquor drive people from Surat to Daman.

Both Nani-Daman and Moti-Daman have forts, built by the Portuguese, to protect against any sea-side attack.   St. Jerome fort, built by the Portugese in Nani Daman, is known as Nani Damn Fort among the locals.  What remains of the fort is its imposing gate and the walls.

This fort has a gateway facing the Daman Ganga river with a statue of St. Jerome. Within the premises of the fort are the church of Our Lady Of The Sea and a small graveyard.  From the ramparts, one can see the Daman Ganga river, the jetty, and the light house.

Moti Daman has the old Daman fort area.  The fort, the churches, and the buildings here showcase the Portuguese architecture.  Many of the administrative buildings are situated in the fort area. Cathedral of Bom Jesus is the chief tourist attraction here.  To my disappointment, it was closed when I visited, on account of renovation work.

Somnath temple is another important tourist destination.  This Shiv temple located in Nani Daman is supposed to be identical to the temple at Somnath. It has beautiful and colorful glass interiors. 

The other tourist attractions here are Dominican monastery, Mirasol lake garden and Panikota fort.  Udvada, renowned for its Zoroastrian Atash Behram, is just 15 km away from Daman.  The Udvada Atash Behram is the most sacred of the Zoroastrian fire temples in India and the oldest continuously burning fire-temple fire in the world.  On account of the fire temple, Udvada as a pilgrimage center for Zoroastrians the world over. 

Many Parsis own a house here, but most of them stay in Mumbai.  Except during festival time when it town comes to life, Udvada is said to look like a ghost town.  

To sum it up, though the beaches of Daman disappoint, the interesting history, the Portuguese-built forts, churches, and buildings and the views of the jetty, the river and the sea make a visit well worth it. 

A Visit to Aurangabad

My travelogue on Aurangabad, published in the web edition of Hans India. Here is the link:


http://www.thehansindia.com/posts/index/2015-10-26/A-Visit-to-Aurangabad-182530

I like maxims that don't encourage behavior modification.

-      Calvin

I like tourist destinations that don't test one's fitness levels.

-        Me

Most of the tourist attractions near Aurangabad seriously test the fitness levels of the visitors. The Ajanta caves were carved in a horseshoe-shaped mountain. One has to climb hundreds of steps and walk hundreds of metres to view all the caves. Ellora caves are spread over a wider stretch!

The nearby Daulatabad fort was not thought impregnable for nothing. It is hard enough to climb it while taking rest and refreshments in between. Imagine trying to go up and inside with a fort full of hostile army, pounding you with cannons and waiting to drown you in hot oil if you reach anywhere near!

However, all that effort invested to visit the places is very well worth it. Most of the paintings have faded and most of the sculpture is broken, but the places are too important historically and provide too good a view to think twice about the physical effort involved or the current state of the art on display.

Some of the caves in Ajanta pre-date Christ! Ellora caves track the changing fortunes of Buddhism, Jainism, and Hinduism over the medieval period. It was because of his shifting of capital city from Delhi to Daulatabad that Tughlak became such a laughing stock!

Aurangzeb, one of the most powerful men on earth during his time, lies buried in a humble grave, in a nearby village called Khuldabad. On the other hand, Bibi ka Maqabra, the monument that houses the tomb of Aurangzeb’s wife and built by their son Azam Shah, was intended to be another Taj Mahal.  However, it could only be a poor replica because of budgetary constraints! It provides proof of some practical thinking on the part of the emperor who ordered it to be built, and maybe also the emptying coffers and declining architectural skills.

The city has many gates and aptly called the city of gates. However, out of the 52 gates, only four main and nine subordinate gates have survived.  Bhadkal gate and Delhi gate are amongst the more important gates. The city has something not only for history buffs, but also for Hindu pilgrims.  Grishneshwar, the last jyotirlinga on earth, lies on the outskirts of the city.

The local culture is supposed to be close to that of Hyderabad. Many areas of Aurangabad reminded me of the old city. Dakhni, the Hyderabadi Urdu dialect, is dominant here too.  Akin to the river Musi of Hyderabad, river Kham flows through the city.  What’s more, it looked equally thin and dirty! On the whole, the city looked like a poor cousin of Hyderabad. It appears to lag behind Hyderabad by at least a decade-and-a-half.  There is very less of the hitec part. Public transportation is rickety. The city starts shutting down by 10 pm. Street lighting is poor in many areas.  The lakes are not well maintained.

The local cafes remind you of Hyderabadi Irani cafes. In restaurants, Mughlai and Puneri cuisines co-exist peacefully here.  Naan Qalia is a dish that is associated with Aurangabad. It is a concoction of mutton and a variety of spices. Naan is the bread made in tandoor (hot furnace) while Qalia is a mixture of mutton and various spices.  Tahri is similar to pulao–biryani and is very popular here. Tahri is prepared by adding the meat to the rice, as opposed to traditional Biryani where the rice is added to the meat.  This reminded me of the dispute between the kingdoms of Lilliput and Blefescu, in Jonathan Swift’s Gulliver’s Travels.  The dispute was over which side of the egg should be broken, the smaller end or the bigger.  Thankfully, there is no such quarrel between Hyderabadis and Aurangabadis!

I tried the most famous thali restaurant in the city, Bhoj. It seems to be locally very popular. Their Rajasthani food is good and the ambiance is great. I saw people waiting for their turn, like for our Bawarchi. But my favorite thali restaurant still remains Gopi's of Ahmedabad, for their hospitality is as good as their food.  Bhoj reminded me more of Pratikashram of Gandhinagar.

Prozone mall, in Aurangabad, is one of India's biggest malls. Its miniature model, situated in one of the corners of the actual mall, is a treat to the eyes.  Kareem's, famous for Kathi rolls, have an outlet in the mall. I had their chicken Kathi roll. Now I know why they are famous!  To my disappointment, even the mall started shutting down around 10pm!

I went to the famous Tara Paan Center, with the help of Google maps. On asking, the guy told me about the three varieties on offer. I went for their special. It was yummy. But then how can I leave out the usual, so I had that one too. And then I took a few steps, content having tasted what I wanted to. To my shock, on the other side of the road I saw another Tara Paan Center. Now, I was not sure which one between them was the real deal. I looked back at the old shop and it had a small post fix "old" on its board. Still not convinced, I set out to try a paan at the second outlet. There was far more variety there. I chose an attractively-named variety, munched it and went on my way, happy.